you or you or metaphorical you or you

Today I got to sleep in. I got to sleep in but its 5:00 pm and I’m still really tired. I feel like my head is inside out and my knees are dislocated. I feel hung over.

Today I got to sleep in but I feel hungover.

Today I got to sleep in but I feel hung over. I feel nauseous all the time. But that’s the thing about chronic pain. Advil does not take it away. Neither does getting a good nights sleep. I wish I was hung over rather than eternally sick and in pain.

Today I got to sleep in but I still think about you. Not ‘you’, the other you. I’m scared of both of you to be quite honest. Not you, rather the idea of how much control you have over my life. My ups and downs base themselves on whether or not I see you. It is an up day when I see you. It is a down day when I see ‘your’ face. I wonder if you know how badly you fucked up my life. Do you? Do ‘you’?

Today I got to sleep in and I have a head ache. And I am nauseous and I still think about you.