What I have realized?

There is a lot I have done in the past 3 months since moving back home.

I have realized that there is strength in saying ‘no’. I have found myself being deeply uncomfortable in many situations in my life. In those settings, pushing on can be an amazing thing. It is what pushed me to do theater in high school, it is what pushed me to leave New Jersey, it is what pushed to seek higher opportunities in my job. But there is a fine line from uncomfortable to unhappy. If I pushed on in New York it would not have lead to a good thing. It probably would have led to a deep depression, maybe even regression in the progress I have made with myself in therapy. And that is not worth it to stay in New York. Even thought I was leaving my friends, even if I was leaving my favorite city in the world. I matter more.

Don’t judge people is also something I learned. I have the habit of judging people. I do it more often that I am pleased to admit. I do it about people I don’t know, people I do know and I honestly believe it is shaving years off of my life. Stop judging people because you don’t know even 1/8 of the truth and it’s just not worth it.

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I have taken this time to also grow in my faith journey. But I use that word lightly. Faith is something that I have judged and left me very confused and unsettled mostly because of the politics behind it. But there is a quote that I listened to a paster break down. Spirit or God gives us blue prints to our lives. And these skeletons of a life are played out by us. But most importantly, its us. We are the hope that should inspire us. God is there, but we have to push ourselves and want to move forward in our lives for ourselves.

Lastly I learned that therapy is a process. Don’t expect to get ‘fixed’ over night. Don’t expect anything. Just take it day by day. and trust the process of therapy and trust that you are strong enough to get through it.