dear apartment 5C

Dear 5C,

I have never cried as much in my entire 20 years of life, as i did between your walls. Your white chipped paint has seen me bend over with red cheeks and wet pillows.

and the porcelain bathroom.

and the porcelain bathroom.

Lied to me saying ‘everything would be okay’ with your hot shower when you knew it wasn’t. You saw me scream for help. You muffled my screams didn’t you.

I wanted everything to be okay.

I smiled and smiled until i would be crying with a smile painted on my mouth. it hurt to lie to everyone, and you knew that.

But what i do now is paint the walls yellow and remember james’ smile through anything. i’ll remember that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger but what do the things that kill us do? and what if we don’t get stronger. do we die then? so I’ll paint the walls yellow over the white chipped paint and hope the next family that lives inside your walls can’t hear my echo cry’s.